I’ve found the last few days difficult. I’m struggling with that feeling that in certain areas we should be further ahead, and that nagging feeling slipped into, frankly, unhelpful internal self-criticism.
That’s never a good place to go, because from there most of us (me included) are only a short step away from despair and often abandoning what’s got us to where we are, without really considering what we might have achieved in spite of the perceived “failures” pre-occupying us.
It’s familiar territory for me. Luckily I’ve trained myself to be aware of it and take action AND I have the amazing Mrs D to talk it out with and get another perspective.
Here’s how it goes for me and I’m sure it’s familiar to many of you…
One goal, or area of achievement isn’t where you wanted it to be. So you fixate on that failure, that lack, becoming so wrapped up in it, you forget to be grateful for all the other wonderful things in your life.
Like a dark storm cloud, if you allow it, it will blot out your sun and plunge you into inner turmoil.
It’s easy, so easy for that to happen. Here’s the thing, if you don’t course correct, your ship is going from unpleasant swells to stormy waters, possibly even ship wreck.
Recognising the pattern is key. Then adjusting your course.
First, be honest on your failings but also show yourself some self-compassion. If there are things to be fixed, fix them, but don’t beat yourself up and pile more guilt on, that’s only compounding the problem.
Second, make a hard and conscious effort to focus on all the things that have gone or are going right, or even better than expected. Focus on what you’re grateful for now.
Third, relook at the goal, reframe it in terms of what you could do better (with love for yourself), what’s out of your control, and how you’re going to show up better moving forward from today.
Once you’ve done this the clouds will clear, the waters will calm and you can start enjoying the voyage of your life again.
We don’t get to change what’s done, but we do get to choose our tomorrow.
What bold choice can you make today to adjust course?