A Blast From The Past – Letter From Seneca

Many centuries ago philosopher Seneca wrote:
 
“Just as the purest wine flows from the top of the jar and the thickest dregs settle at the bottom ; so in our human life , that which is best comes first.
 
Shall we allow other men to quaff the best, and keep the dregs for ourselves? 
”
 
In other words, make the most of the time you have now.
 
Don’t put off following your dreams, all that’s left at the end are the bitter dregs which do not satisfy.


 
Don’t wait until you no longer have the energy, the health, the time to do what you want to do.
 
What have you been putting off that you can go for today?

Be Honest. How Do You Feel?

Do you beat yourself up every time you go out for a beer?

Are you filled with remorse when you’ve finished that take-away?

It’s not unusual, and it’s also telling you something.

It’s telling you that you’re not happy with who you are right now, and that your life isn’t in balance.

 

It’s telling you there’s an underlying mindset issue.

You’re in a feast or famine, black or white, all or nothing mindset which is going to keep you locked into a cycle of failure.

You train hard, eat well, work hard, perform – you feel you “deserve” a treat.

You treat yourself and then the inner critic pipes up loud…

In your head you’ve let yourself down again.

Now it’s either back on the treadmill to punish yourself and prove yourself wrong. Until next time,

OR, you give up altogether.

It’s common. More common than you think.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

How would it feel to train hard, eat well, get results and still enjoy drinks and take-aways and being “bad” without regret?

Knowing that you’re in balance, you can indulge and relax without your results OR more importantly your self-belief being affected?

Feeling empowered and confident because you know you’ve got this?

So, how do you want to feel at the weekend?

What To Do When You Don’t Feel Like Doing It

We all get days like this. Days where you’re just not feeling the workout, the mindset reps… days where pancakes seem more attractive then your smoothie…

Some people will pretend this doesn’t happen. It does, it even happens to us!

What’s really important here is that you distinguish…

Are you genuinely ill, injured or run down?

If you are, then listen to what your body is telling you and take a time out for self care and recovery.

However…

The majority of the time this isn’t the case. It’s your sub-conscious bringing up some resistance so it can ping you back to the familiar aka “safe”.

Safe but not growing. Safe but not achieving. Safe but not where you want to be.

So you skip the workout, you eat the pancakes, you miss the mindset reps. Bingo. Your sub-conscious congratulates itself. You tell yourself this is how you were meant to be, that you were just kidding yourself.

Only you weren’t!

Resistance (when you don’t feel like doing what you know you need to do) is a sign post you’re making progress.

Keep going.
Tell yourself that you’ll start the workout and see how you go. That you’ll have the shake this time, maybe have a treat later. That you’ll just write a quick gratitude list.

By doing something you’re reinforcing to your sub-sub-conscious that your new behaviour is here to stay.

This let’s it know that to move you out of dissonance it better get on board shifting your beliefs in line with your new behaviours so you can achieve your goals.

So, if you’re having a day like this, keep going! You’e making progress and even a small step is still a step.

What action can you take today to move you closer to your goal?

Are You Using Unattainable As An Excuse?

We’re funny creatures. We’re hard wired so stay stuck as we are and we can find all kinds of ways to justify why that’s okay, when actually, we really, really want to grow.
One of the classic ways is the “unattainable” excuse. You can apply this to financial goals, partner goals, body goals, life goals…
I know, I used to be the master. I’d see a girl I really fancied in a bar, tell myself she’s out of my league, so avoid the humiliation of rejection by not approaching her at all. I’d skip the trials for higher level sports teams. I’d not apply for that job, that university…
You probably do this more than you think. I could never afford that car. I’ll never go there on holiday. I couldn’t run a successful business. I could never be slim….
Here’s the thing. Your ego stays happy as you haven’t risked failure. But are you really happy?
When I started risking more, I started achieving more. Life became more fun. I became happier.
Getting in shape, feeling great, creating a positive mindset – it takes work, sure, but it’s not really that hard and millions of people do it. Why not you?
Here are just some of the things people think to themselves when it comes to making positive changes in their life:
  • I don’t have the time to put in to get results
  • I can’t afford it right now
  • Eating healthily is really difficult
  • The workouts are too hard
  • My body could never look like that
  • Now is not the right time
  • I don’t even know what it would feel like to feel good in my body, so how could I even get there
Let me flip it around for you. How about if you did just go for it?
How would it feel to prioritise yourself and make positive
changes?
What would it feel like if you did allow yourself to feel good? Really allowed yourself to feel good?
How would that ripple through the rest of your life?
What are you telling yourself is unattainable when it really isn’t?

Midlifers, Does This Sound Familiar?

You feel like you’ve tried everything to lose the slowly increasing belly fat.

The new lockdown fills you with dread as you know last time you not only put on weight, you felt listless and even more demotivated than normal. 

You’ve done diet after diet, you’ve tried workout after workout.

You’re inspired to get in shape despite juggling a busy life. 

Time is an issue but you’ve tried to make time for the workouts. You’ve done the healthy eating, but you’re just not seeing results.

When you look online and see other people’s transformations it makes you feel worse, like a bit of a failure. 

You think that either they’ve cheated, or your body just isn’t performing as it should.

If you can relate to this let me shed some light on what might be happening in this situation…

  1. You’re not working out in the right way for the midlife body. With the hormonal and physiological changes taking or taken place you can’t train like you did in your 20s and 30s. You need shorter workouts and more recovery.
  2. You don’t yet have a handle on your stress. Stress hormone cortisol encourages the body to store fat in the abdominal area when it stays raised. If you’re life is stressful AND you’re overthinking you’re exacerbating the issue. Start to apply stress management techniques.
  3. Your nutrition isn’t as dialled in as you think. You don’t need a diet, you do need to increase your lean protein, lower your processed foods, lower your sugar and learn portion control for your body size.
  4. Your goals are unrealistic. Stop comparing. You’re on your own journey. Set micro goals that are achievable and celebrate the wins.
  5. You’re only focused on the external and that will only get you so far. You need to look at your beliefs to see where they’re undermining you and start building a new self-identity aligned with your goals. Then losing the fat, keeping it off, and staying fit not only becomes easy, it becomes a lifestyle.
  6. Let me know if you can relate to one or more of these…

How’s The First Week Of Lockdown Going?

We’re back in it again UK, only this time we more or less know what to expect. Does that make it better or worse I wonder?

I’m seeing a number of posts from people saying they’re already finding it harder than the first lockdown. I’m not surprised.

First time round no one really new what to expect, so there was a novelty factor, we didn’t know how long for, and it was Spring, with the weather getting brighter and warmer.

This time around we know what it’s like, we’re hoping it’s just until Dec 2nd AND we’ve got cold weather and early dark nights to contend with.

More than ever we need to start looking after our mental and physical health. Building mental resilience and a positive mindset WILL help you, not just with lockdown but in life in general.

Focusing on healthy, nourishing foods and moving your body will lift your mood, keep the excess weight off, and have you feeling better about yourself.

Tie all this together in a routine, and you’ll add some much needed structure to your life as well, and our minds love structure and certainty.

Start making time for you, and start making those small steps.

As many of you know through lock down one we ran free apps and programmes, free virtual retreats and more to share our knowledge and tips, and help bring people together.

We’re looking at what we can for this lockdown, and the first thing we’re putting together is something totally new…

Coffee With Claire & James…

This Sunday morning we’ll go live in The Midlife Mentors Community group and we’d love you to join us as we share tips, stories and answer your questions.

It’s a free group, a free session so if you haven’t already joined head on over now and ask to be let in and we’ll see you Sunday.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/themidlifementorscommunity/

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