We all feel the fear at some point or another. I had it just last week. Claire and I (plus Lola) were packing our bags for winter in Marbella.
Leaving the security of our London home to travel across Europe to an apartment we hadn’t even seen. I think because this is the most settled I’ve felt in London since returning from Ibiza, and all the great stuff that’s been happening for us, I had a real moment of, “Do I really want to do this?”
From there of course, something you’ll be familiar with, my wonderful imagination filling my head with the possibilities of all that could go wrong, and all the reasons we should stay put.
After all travel with a dog, post-Brexit, during continuing restrictions… it’s not as straight forward as it used to be.
I could have easily talked myself out of it, taken the easy option to stay put.
And that’s the key… when we’re about to take chance, up-level, roll the dice, our sub-conscious does it’s job of keeping us safe by persuading us that staying as we are is for the best.
Only it rarely is. Comfort and growth are opposing states and at some point you need to decide. Decide to stay as you are, to remain stuck, to stay safe…
Or, take that chance, embrace that opportunity, go for growth.
Here’s the thing we forget in these situations, the old will still be there to come back to if we want. Also, there’s a reason we’re doing what we’re about to do, that we want change, we want to expand.
All too often we can talk ourselves into the safe option only to regret it down the line. How often have you done that?
We see it with clients all the time. They’ve stayed trapped where they are, even though they really crave change. Then resentment builds about what they haven’t done. Sometimes this starts to manifest in their relationship.
At midlife it’s not uncommon for husband and wife to both be looking back at what they’ve missed, and the chasm can start to yawn ever wider between them with so much unspoken…
That’s why we’re running a masterclass on thriving midlife relationships next week, because we’ve got a pretty good idea what works (not least having run through some painful experiences ourselves).
Awareness precedes change and so, so often people are not only not aware of what’s going on for them as a result of hormones, diet, habits, fear based choices… but they’re not aware of what’s going on for their significant other too.
Bringing understanding and compassion can allow you to open up and start narrowing the divide, bringing you closer. It can also allow you to start loving yourself more.
We’ll be sharing the secrets to a thriving midlife relationship next Wednesday evening, if you’d like to join the live masterclass for free, drop a comment below or message me.Back to the decision to relocate…
As we stood on the beach watching the sunrise as a rainbow arched overhead, well, I knew we’d made a good one, and all those fears dissolved, washed away like grains of sand by the waves.
It’s so often the way, it’s only once we make the move, we realise what we’re gaining.
What move could you make, and how would it pay off in your life?