For many of us, the words “school PE” don’t exactly spark joy.
They trigger memories of freezing changing rooms, cross-country runs in the rain, being picked last for teams, awkward swimming lessons, humiliating kit, and that lingering sense that everyone else seemed more athletic, more confident, or simply more comfortable in their body than we did.
In this episode of the Midlife Mentors podcast, James and Claire explore fascinating new research showing that our experiences in school PE may still be influencing our attitudes towards movement and exercise decades later — especially in midlife.
And honestly? A lot of it makes complete psychological sense.
The Research: Why School PE Still Matters
Recent research commissioned by Age UK found that:
- 29% of midlifers still feel traumatised by school PE
- 28% believe it put them off exercise for life
- 40% remember being picked last
- 40% felt body-conscious during PE lessons
What might sound funny or nostalgic on the surface actually reveals something much deeper.
Because repeated experiences of shame, comparison, embarrassment, exclusion or failure in childhood can shape the beliefs we carry into adulthood.
Beliefs like:
- “I’m not sporty.”
- “Exercise isn’t for me.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “Other people are naturally fit — I’m not.”
- “Gyms and fitness spaces are intimidating.”
And once those beliefs become part of our identity, they often stay there quietly running in the background for years.
How Childhood Experiences Shape Adult Identity
As Claire explains in the episode, our younger years are when our self-image is most impressionable.
Repeated exposure to situations where we feel judged, compared or excluded teaches the nervous system to avoid those experiences in the future.
That means some people don’t dislike movement itself — they dislike the emotions associated with movement.
Exercise becomes unconsciously linked with:
- embarrassment
- rejection
- body shame
- social anxiety
- fear of failure
- fear of judgement
Which is why many adults avoid gyms, classes, team sports or even trying something new.
Not because they’re lazy.
But because somewhere deep down, movement still feels emotionally unsafe.
Claire’s Story: “I Thought Exercise Wasn’t For Me”
Claire shared openly about her own difficult experiences with PE growing up.
From feeling self-conscious about her body at an all-girls school, to being bullied, picked last and dreading freezing swimming lessons, exercise became associated with shame and exposure rather than enjoyment.
For years, that shaped her relationship with movement, fitness and even food.
It wasn’t until her 30s — during a difficult period in her life — that she began to rediscover exercise on her own terms.
Weight training, cardio and movement eventually became part of her healing journey and helped support her mental health alongside the psychological tools she already understood professionally.
And that’s the key point:
Your old story about exercise does not have to become your permanent identity.
James’ Experience: A Different Relationship With Sport
James’ experience was very different.
After struggling with sport as a child, boarding school introduced him to a huge variety of activities — rugby, rowing, fencing, athletics and more.
While some experiences were still deeply uncomfortable (including one particularly traumatic first swimming lesson!), sport eventually became something positive.
But even then, it shaped identity.
James described becoming someone who was “good at lots of sports, but never exceptional at one,” showing how childhood experiences can subtly influence confidence and self-perception in ways we may not even realise.
Why Midlife Is The Perfect Time To Rewrite The Story
One of the most powerful parts of midlife is that we finally get to question the identities we inherited.
The labels.
The assumptions.
The stories we absorbed when we were 10 years old.
And movement is no exception.
You are no longer the child standing on the freezing school field.
You are no longer trapped in the PE changing room.
You are no longer the teenager who felt embarrassed, awkward or judged.
You get to redefine what movement means now.
How To Rebuild A Positive Relationship With Exercise
If school PE left emotional scars, here are some powerful ways to start reframing your relationship with movement:
1. Separate Movement From Childhood Shame
Recognise that your resistance to exercise may not actually be about exercise itself.
It may be about old emotional associations.
Awareness alone can be incredibly freeing.
2. Find Your Form Of Movement
The best exercise is the one you enjoy enough to keep doing.
That might be:
- walking
- yoga
- strength training
- dancing
- swimming
- hiking
- cycling
- martial arts
- Pilates
- tennis
- group classes
- solo training
You do not have to force yourself into workouts you hate.
3. Start Small And Remove Pressure
If team sports or gyms feel intimidating, start privately.
Build confidence gradually.
One small positive experience can begin rewriting years of negative associations.
4. Challenge The Old Narrative
Instead of saying:
“I’m not sporty.”
Try:
“I just haven’t found my thing yet.”
That tiny shift matters.
5. Focus On How Movement Makes You Feel
Midlife exercise is no longer about punishment or comparison.
It’s about:
- energy
- mental health
- resilience
- longevity
- confidence
- mobility
- emotional wellbeing
- strength for later life
Movement becomes an act of self-respect — not self-criticism.
You Are Not The Same Person You Were At School
This episode is a reminder that many of the beliefs we carry around fitness and exercise were formed before we even truly knew ourselves.
And midlife gives us the opportunity to rewrite those stories.
Your body is not the enemy.
Movement is not punishment.
And exercise doesn’t have to look like school PE ever again.
If you want to rewrite your midlife you do not have to go through it alone.
📩 Email us: team@themidlifementors.com
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