As a man it can be really hard to admit to failure. Failure makes us feel vulnerable, we’ve let ourselves down, we’ve let others down – so what do we do?
Often, we’ll hide from that failure, internalise it, make excuses, and when we do that not only do we have the shame of the failure, but we compound it with the shame of lying to ourselves.
In fact we make the failure worse. You see we’re taught that we should be winners, that failure is a weakness
Here’s the thing…
We all fail. We fail at relationships, we fail at business, we fail at personal goals, we fail at being true to our ourselves.
I’ve failed. I continue to fail. I used to hate it. Now I recognise that if I’m not failing, I’m not trying.
Failure isn’t the end unless you let it be. It’s an integral part of trying. If we never fail, we’re not taking risks or pushing boundaries. We’re playing it safe. Safe might feel comfortable, but it doesn’t foster growth.
So, I say…
Let’s stop beating ourselves up and instead…
Celebrate failure.
What?
With caveats….
This isn’t about being reckless, it IS about learning from our failures, but we need to see failure for what it is, a feedback loop.
Let’s ditch the shame around it, let’s share our failures, and more importantly what we learned from them so that we can do better next time.
Also remember this, we must take responsibility, when we do that we have power over our destiny, so do look for the lessons, however at the same time you know what?
Life can be hard and sometimes life is just not fair…
It’s possible to do everything right and fail anyway. That’s not weakness – that’s life. When we can recognise and accept that too, then we have real power. Power to step up again.
So, do you want to carry on hiding from your failures, or do you want to step up and lead by example to other men that’s it’s okay to fail?
Let’s start having the conversations and having each others backs on this. Failure isn’t weakness, it’s an opportunity to adapt and grow, and that my friends, is sexy as hell.
hashtag#failforward hashtag#menshealth