Uncategorized

This might seem a strange question, but person after person we speak to indirectly asks it.

They’re frustrated, they’re down, they feel stuck, they feel frumpy. The extra weight has crept on, they’re low on energy, getting lower on confidence every day, not even liking what they see in the mirror anymore. Heck, they don’t even like their thought patterns.

They know if they don’t do something, then it’s not that it won’t change. It’s that it will get worse.

Yet these same people all do the same thing. They talk themselves out of taking action.

Sometimes they think it’s the money. Sometimes they think it’s the time they’ll need to invest.

Here’s the thing – 8 weeks of your entire life to completely transform your relationship with food, to build a super positive mindset, to change your body shape and feel energised, confident and empowered is not a big ask.

Especially when we’re talking 20 to 45 minutes a day three to five days a week moving your body, 60 to 90 minutes a week to make the most of workshops and new habits happening almost on autopilot.

If it’s the money, then what’s it costing you now? What will it cost you if you don’t address it? And what’s it worth to you to feel incredible in your own body?

Money replenishes, time doesn’t. Let that sink in.

In any case, both of these reasons are really excuses, it boils down to one thing…

I don’t trust myself.

Maybe you have a lifetime of diets, fads and failures of those behind you. We get it.

Maybe you think you can’t see it through because you’ve quit on things before.

Maybe it all seems to hard.

But…

What if you did it? What if it worked? How would that feel?

Waiting for that “thing” that’s going to magically change everything for you means you’ll be waiting a long time. Like, forever.

We get results for our clients time and time again. You don’t have to trust you, because we’ve got you, you just need to trust the process, and you can, because it works.

If you’re serious about making changes, then get in touch. If you like making excuses for where you are, then sorry, but please don’t. At least until you’re ready to step up.

I’ll leave you with one last thought…

Don’t let your past define your future.

We always tell clients success is 80% psychological and 20% mechanical. The one thing that’s going to get you started, keep you going and allow you to sustain your success is your mindset.

Know what’s great about that? We can all cultivate it to get the results we want.

Even though we’re in lockdown the alarm is set for 5:45am. The first thing we do is cultivate our mindset with a set of morning rituals, affirmations and meditations.

We move our bodies as the sun comes up, we shower, we dress, the bed is made…

Why bother?

Because it all starts (and ends) with mindset. We do it because it matters.

We want to feel healthy, inspired, motivated, creative, every single day.

That allows us to flourish.

Your ability to master your mindset, to create solid routines that work to support you, is a huge determining factor in your ability to hit your goals, be they personal or professional.

Success is a state of mind.

If you’d like to talk to us about helping you hit your goals, please reach out.

I wasn’t feeling great the other day. I forced myself to start my workout, I struggled through it. I’ll be honest, I didn’t enjoy it.

There, I said it.

Why am I telling you this?

To let you know you’re not alone.

You see it’s easy to look at someone who’s fit and healthy and think, “yeah, but it’s easy for them.”

Thinking someone else has it easy or an advantage on the thing you want is really just another kind of excuse.

And we’re oh so good at making excuses aren’t we. I nearly made one myself to get out of the workout. You know why I didn’t?

Because I focused on my goal, on the outcome I wanted, rather than the task at hand.

Now, one workout isn’t going to make a physical difference one way or another (sorry folks another truth bomb), but it will make a mental difference.

Quick point here – I’m not talking about being ill or injured – then you definitely shouldn’t train. I’m talking about those days when you feel a bit off, a bit lazy, when you’re just not into it.

That’s your sub-conscious telling you to stay in bed a little bit longer. Put off doing that thing you need to do, because it will always seek the path of least resistance. It wants to stay comfortable.

The problem is comfortable and growth are opposing states, so you have to choose.

Sometimes, that can be hard. That’s when I go back to my “why”, my reason for wanting this.

It would have been so easy to skip that workout, to laze around.

But you know what? Not only did I feel better for having done it, but the next day I felt even more motivation to push it harder and go for it, because I’d reinforced to myself that this was now the path I was on.

You’re not alone. It’s not always easy, but you can do this. If you need help reach out.

Remember, success doesn’t come from that one big thing, it comes from the culmination of small steps taken every day…

Where are you choosing comfort over growth in your life?

Time and time again we speak to people who are unhappy with where they are, who are desperate to make positive changes. Sometimes they’ve been stuck for years…

Often they’ll even acknowledge that rather than nothing having changed in the last few years, the way they feel about themselves is getting worse and worse.

When they look ahead at their life without addressing things, without making the changes, it’s bleak.

Often they’ve tried many things that just haven’t worked: diets, apps, workouts.

We get it, you lose confidence in yourself.

We’ve been there, but if you shut the door on trying to change it, you’re not giving up on the solution being offered, you’re giving up on yourself.

Maybe you don’t trust yourself enough to see things through. Maybe you just don’t want it badly enough. Yet.

How much worse do you need to let it become before you do something about it?

How much harder will it be starting from a worse position than the one you’re in now?

It’s never a good time. It’s never the right time.

Putting it off though wastes the one resource you can never get back. Time.

It can be so frustrating to know we can help, that we can already see the path, the solutions, but the person won’t take the first step.

Change isn’t easy, but often neither is staying where you are, you just tell yourself the lie that you’ll find another way, do it later, something will change…

Ask yourself this – what’s it costing you now, what’s it going to cost you in the future staying where you are?

This might seem like a strange title for a post, and I’m sure could even raise a wry smile as we think about someone we know, but there’s a serious side to this.

This comes up for our clients a lot. The inability to switch off and relax.

How often have you looked forward to your lazy Sunday, only when you get there, to feel slightly ill at ease with doing nothing? Maybe you even started working or cracking on with a project to ease those feelings?

If we’ve programme ourselves to be busy – constantly moving forward, updating the To Do list, feverishly working towards our goals, then it can be hard to switch off and relax however much we know that mentally, emotionally, physically, we’re crying out for it.

Why?

Well, here are just a couple of reasons. Sometimes keeping busy can be a trauma response. We force ourselves to keep going either because we’re afraid of what might come up for us if we have time to focus inwards, or because we’re operating from lack and fear if we don’t keep going, what we’ve created could be taken away at a stroke.

Sometimes it’s both. Just being stressed can be enough of a trauma to start and perpetuate the cycle.

The other reason is that we’ve conditioned ourselves to busy-ness. Our mind is fabulously adaptable, but essentially lazy. It likes routine, it loves the familiar.

If you’ve conditioned yourself to go, go, go (and possibly reinforced this with beliefs about needing to keep busy – see first point) then stopping will create dissonance.

You’ll find yourself unable to relax and your sub-conscious will start directing you to do something, anything that feels like and achievement you can tick off, because it’s what it’s used to.

If this is you then a helpful paradox is to plan your relaxation. Soothe your sub-conscious by letting it know that, yes, you are taking down time, but you’re not “doing nothing”, rather you’ve planned your recuperation.

Schedule time to read the papers at length, bake a cake, catch up with a friend on zoom, go for a long walk.

Rather than waking up with an empty canvas of a day and creating that disturbing disconnect, go for the half-way house of scheduled relaxation.

if you’re looking for something, then remember, Claire and I do a live coffee morning every Sunday at 10am in our free facebook group. We’d love to see you there.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/themidlifementorscommunity/

I was reflecting on this over the weekend. It’s something that comes up a lot when we’re talking to prospective clients, and something that comes up for us.

How do you know when it’s the right time to push the button on that new goal, coach, mentor, programme, course, workout…

Simple answer. You don’t.

Life is never certain, so is it the “perfect” time? Maybe, maybe not.

Is it the right time?

Undoubtedly. Once we’ve identified a course of action we want to take, procrastination is just another form of internal resistance. Your sub-conscious attempting to keep you anchored where you are in the know and familiar.

Only you don’t want to stay where you are, or you wouldn’t already be thinking about making changes.

Waiting for the right time is one of the surest ways to end up staying stuck right where you are.

Try this. Instead of focusing on the course of action you’re considering and what could go wrong (which is our natural default), focus on what the cost to you is of staying stuck where you are.

If nothing changes in three months, a year, two years. How will you feel?

We all want certainty, we all want to know for sure the leap we’re about to take is definitely going to work out. But life isn’t like that.

If you don’t take the leap you’ll never know.

We up-level all the time, new coaches we hope will work out, investing back into the business before the revenues are there…

It’s uncomfortable. So is staying where you are.

Does it always work out? No.

Even when it doesn’t, there’s always a learning, and inevitably you find you’ve moved forward in some way, just in the act of trying.

When it does work out… boom!

Then you inevitably wish you’d just got going so much sooner!

What are you holding back from that you could start this week?